Power Position Betting Quick Hits: Week Ten Football Review

I think the standard opening for any article, blog post, or discussion of the previous week’s NFL games should be: oh my, holy, did, no, yes, wow! Just a steady stream of unarticulated yips of excitement, as each week the NFL keeps on getting crazier and crazier. It almost doesn’t seem real—as if the various owners are sitting up in some secret penthouse, slowly turning the drama knob way past 11 on their control box that rules over games, off-field antics, and the weather.

For starters, did you see the Chargers Bengals game? This is one of those annual games where hordes of angry fans take up any means of protest and bombard the television networks with a “get rid of the 4:15 rule or else,” a game where people who own satellite sit smug in front of their televisions, like amoebas, absorbing all the images piped through the box in fantastic gluttony…

Hmm. Is it the owners who are controlling all this crazy NFL action? Or is it Direct TV and their satellites? Those bastards.

Anyhow, as all of you who gathered around the proverbial water cooler know, the Bengals jumped out to a 21-0 lead. Chad Johnson and Carson Palmer were on their way to career days, and Tomlinson was languishing in a place decidedly not Tomlinson. Sure he scored a touchdown, but still, the Chargers were down by 21 in halftime.

Then it all changed, becoming one of the most exciting games in a while, culminating in the Bengals needing to score a last minute touchdown (and if doing so, a two point conversion) to prolong the insanity. In an anti-climactic moment, the Bengals failed to score—though I think the refs should have called pass interference on the final play, just to collectively give millions of Americans heart attacks.

It’s not the owners or Direct TV who control these games, but a secret cabal of American nutritionists and health experts who want to show, through the large amount of heart attacks that occur on Sundays, just how unhealthy our country is…

So the Bengals fall just short, and so do the Titans. Here was another of these games. McNair hooks up for a long bomb and everyone is thinking the Ravens are going to go nuts, then the Titans come right back and build a 19 point lead, only to give it all back to a late fourth quarter touchdown pass by Not so air-anymore McNair. The Titans storm back, but their last second field goal attempt is blocked, once again causing Direct TV owners to smile slowly and suck up those crazy NFL fumes.

You know, for all of McNair’s faults this year, the Ravens somehow are a 7-2 team. As a saying of mine goes, credit must go where credit is due…and credit is certainly due to Mr. McNair.

Credit is certainly due to my team, the New York Jets. For all of my complaining about the Chris Baker atrocity, it still wasn’t washed away by this victory—a part of me yells out, no! We would have been 6-3, you stupid refs…

I know, I know. Give it up, move on. Ultimately, the Patriots still win this division, but if we can manage to beat the Bears next week, happy happy joy joy. The Patriots streak of not having consecutive losses is gone—a streak that began after a Jets loss I might add—so who knows, maybe we can take the division. It all rests on the Bears game next week.

Can the Bears beat both New York teams consecutively? We’ll have to see. Last night they beat an injured Giants team, spurred on by a crazy— one of the craziest plays of the year, in fact —108 yard field goal miss return. Starting slow, the Giants just could not keep up with them. Hopefully, the Jets can.

Hopefully, we’ll see more games like Pittsburgh and New Orleans (what is with Pittsburgh’s games this year by the way?) It’s always fun to see these offensive shows. Willie Parker rolled, Colston increased his lead and cemented rookie of the year, and Drew Brees caused even more people to froth at the mouth in frustration, knowing their football team could have had him.

You know, it’s not nutritionists, Direct TV, or football owners controlling the NFL, but the US Government. By having these games get so wild, everyone starts talking about this instead of what is happening in Washington…well, we’re on to you Uncle Sam. You may take our freedom, but you’ll never take our internet gambling…

Gambling—I bet a lot of people lost some money on the Falcons in the last two weeks. For the second week in a row, Vick and the Falcons lost to teams they should have beaten. In our previous posts, I wrote how all this talk about Vick having turned a corner is yet another example of the mainstream media getting ahead of themselves. The numbers just did not assert that fact, and though we love Vick, he is still…well, Vick.

Gambling—I hope a lot of people picked the Dolphins to cover/and, or beat the Chiefs. Crazy as the games are, there are various trends that still exist, and one of these trends played out to perfection once again down in Miami. Those of you who have the Power Position Betting Home Study Course know exactly what I’m talking about…

Once again, the Colts did just enough to win. Maybe the government doesn’t control the NFL—Peyton Manning does! He certainly has all those commercials, like a poster of Stalin or Hitler, they are everywhere. Pledge allegiance to the Manning! He is carefully planning all these games so that things go right and he wins the Super Bowl, but like all the best-laid plans of mice and men…come January time…

Peyton remains a mouse.

Who knows though, maybe this year is the year…really? Can it? We’ll see.

We saw the Raiders return to their losing ways, Javon Walker catching another touchdown pass to further antagonize Brett Favre, whose team beat the Vikings so I don’t think he cares all that much. Not today at least. Romo and the Cowboys, all those sexy Romosexuals in Texas, beat up on the Cardinals. And then, what we had predicted to be the game of the week, upstaged by the Chargers Bengals game…

Seattle VS. St. Louis. Is there a better trend than the number of insane games played between these two teams? What a great rivalry. Once again, Josh Brown kicked a last second game winning field goal, yet another hair-raiser and goose bump inducing game that has now typified this NFL season.

It’s not the government, nutritionists, Direct TV, or football owners who control the NFL, and sad to say, Peyton is not Stalin or some manifestation of ‘Big Brother.’ No, the NFL is just this crazy organism loved by fans, a sport and entertainment that does not fail to disappoint, although if this doesn’t stop, I may need to steal some of my mom’s blood pressure pills to lower mine.

Just oh my, holy, did, no, yes, wow! What a week…what a week.