Bonds Threat?

Barry Bonds reportedly is receiving death threats, like many players have in our proud history, and it is my opinion that he is not only tainting baseball with his HR chase of Hank Aaron, but he is tainting the history of death threats in sports.

In baseball alone there was Jackie Robinson, who broke the color barrier, Hank Aaron, who broke Babe Ruth's hallowed mark, Roger Maris when he chased and broke the single season HR record and Cal Ripken Jr. when he broke Gehrig's consecutive games played streak--among hundreds of other such targets. Recently, even Ichiro Suzuki received death threats when he was attempting to break Sisler's 84-year old single season hits record.

That's a joke, but there is no joke about death threats. Bill Buckner. Steve Bartman (and how fitting was that name? Taking an out away from your favorite team, D'oh!). Various umpires. Danny Almonte. The Brewers sausage mascots. Keith Hernandez as an announcer. Pitchers and hitters and managers who either messed up or were good enough to do something great at the hands of some fan's favorite team, the sending of a death threat is a venerable tradition in the world of sports, one that goes back to when old-school settlers hit balls with sticks.

No. Death threats are an ugly but integral part of the game, the passion that whips up in the fan base logically extends to this expression of vitriol--thankfully hardly ever carried out.

I actually began to wonder if death threats were ever made up, to build to the mystique of chasing a record. Perhaps, perhaps not--but one immediately begins to wonder if Bonds made these threats up to win public sympathy. Probably not, because don't forget, Bonds is a dick. He probably has been getting death threats for years, imploring him to stop being a dick. And now? Now that he is chasing Aaron's record in a steroid-pumped haze of allegations?

He's sullying the proud history of death threats in America. Of death threats in the world. In fact, when the dust settles, I move to place an asterisk next to his name every time it's mentioned in regards to death threats, because Bonds is dirtying the waters of anything that he touches and only the hindsight of history will be able to view him with any clarity.

Until then, stop sending threats. He's not worth it. All right? All right.