Power Position Betting Presents CollegeBoy: Fantasy Idiot

Just a quick word on my fantasy woe.

I'm a fantasy baller, I play it all--well not Nascar or golf, those seem kind of silly. But the big three and hockey, I'm all over it.

How did I do?

I won my baseball league. I'm the defending champ in my basketball league, but currently I'm in third place. And I'm also the defending champ in my hockey league, currently sitting pretty in first and looking just swell.

All good, right?

Wait. Where is the end all be all of fantasy sports? Where is the greatest fantasy sport, the one that put all fantasy sports on the map. Sure baseball was probably first, but who wants to seriously play that much fantasy baseball, something like 162+ games for the fantasy season, no thank you. No, how are you in football CollegeBoy? How are you?

STOP! Please, don't bring that up.

How are you in football, CollegeBoy! CollegeBoy, CollegeBoy, CollegeBoy! Na-na-na!

STOP! Please, I'm begging you. Don't make me tell you.

Tell us CollegeBoy, tell us how much you suck at football. Your favorite sport, the one sport where you actually know how to sort of play and analyze, the one sport where you can sit in front of the television with a couple beers and the game of Madden and actually make some sense talking about a sport, the game where you can call the plays and feel that you can do a better job than half the idiots coaching now (and especially in Oakland, but hey. If a bed and Breakfast guy became coach, there is hope for all of us.) Tell us CollegeBoy, TELL US!

I suck.

I draft the best team in my league, then I single-handedly sink it. I drafted McNabb. Everything went perfect, better than planned--and, just as he reached his obvious peak, I said to myself, hey, CollegeBoy. Trade him. Get someone with some good value. Trust me. And I started to work on a couple of deals, but the more I looked, the idiot in me rose up. Hey, it whispered. Look at his numbers. Who are you gonna get? Your not going to get Tomlinson, you already have LJ. Shh. Keep him. Ride him to victory.

But, but, I think he's at his peak. It's almost too obvious.

Shh, keep him, CollegeBoy. Keep him.

A couple average games later, he's out for the rest of the season. And what else is great? The game he got hurt in, there was a touchdown to Westbrook overruled. No big deal, but then he went down. That same week, I lose Favre. I lose Colston. And Randy Moss did absolute squat--which I expected, but I was so sure that I was gonna win, I didn't really care. Know how much I lost by? One point.

Oh yeah, and that was the week when the Rams, and my kicker Jeff Wilkins, were shutout. Sounds like the god damned story of my life--when it comes to fantasy football, that is.

One point.

Long story short? I have the most points in my league, we do head to head, but I'm second to last. What more can I do?

Oh yeah. Not make stupid mistakes. Like my latest one.

A lot of people are down on D. Mason, WR on the Ravens. I pick him up. Say, let's see what happens. Okay, so Thursday comes and it's time to submit lineups. Mason or Jamal Lewis. I want to start one. So, here is what I do. I ask my friend, who says sit him (which is my initial answer as well), who then says since he is usually wrong about these things, I should start him. (That was my initial reaction to my initial reaction). I flip a coin, four times. Four times it says, sit Jamal Lewis. So...I start...

Jamal Lewis.

Mason was a 20. Jamal Lewis was a 5 in my one league.

I ask myself, how come you can't take your own advice? If someone had asked me, who should they start? I would have said Mason. But I didn't do it. Why?

Cause the answer is simple. I'm an idiot.

That's why.